Freudian Slip
by Bookkbaby
Summary: YAOI GrimmIchi. "The ... 'Sexy... Freakin' Espada?" Renji repeated, tone one of disbelief. Ichigo could just picture small quotation marks around the words... "Why Ichigo, I never would have guessed..." Rukia said lightly.


Warnings: yaoi, boyxboy stuff here. Lime, implied lemon. May be some slight OOC on Grimmjow's part. Some language.

Pairing: Grimm/Ichi/Grimm. (Mentioned ByaRen, OriIshi in passing.)

Disclaimer: Bleach is the property of Kubo Tite. I make no money off of this, and if you try and sue me you'll be lucky to get pocket lint. I write for fun and amusement!

A/N: Okay, first Bleach fic but not my first fic! Please let me know if the characters are too OOC or if you have any other concrit for me. I'd be happy to hear it. Without further ado, the fic. (Not beta'd, as I have no beta. Any mistakes are mine.)

Freudian Slip

i. the slip

Ichigo was scowling. The expression wasn't unusual on him, but when it was mirrored by the other people sitting around the table in the Urahara Shoten, it was unnatural.

The group was silent - not even Renji spoke. Rukia sat quietly next to the red haired man, Orihime staring down at the table with a sad sort of expression. Ishida sat next to her. Ichigo, Chad, Urahara, and Yoruichi completed the circle. Immediately after rescuing Orihime, Ichigo, Chad, Ishida, Renji, and Rukia had gone to the Urahara Shoten to decide what to do about the _other_ thing they had brought back from Hueco Mundo.

Nel had chosen to stay, as had her 'brothers'. Any one of those Arrancar would have been fine, as they had proven themselves time and time again while the shinigami struggled to rescue their friend.

It wasn't even Aizen that they had brought back, in order to be tried for his crimes. He, Gin, and Tousen were still roaming free and likely plotting more havoc.

No, what the group of shinigami had brought back was Grimmjow.

"So, to clarify," Urahara said slowly, holding his fan open so it obscured the lower half of his face. "- Grimmjow rescued you from two Arrancar women, then kidnapped you so you could heal Ichigo, in order for Grimmjow to beat him half-dead again?"

Orihime nodded.

"And because of this, you thought he should get a second chance...?"

Orihime nodded, more slowly this time.

"He's not a bad person," she said. "I think... he doesn't really like Aizen at all, so maybe..."

"He's not a person at all, technically." Ishida said, pressing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. "He's an Arrancar, a mostly Hollow hybrid of Hollow and shinigami."

"Soul Society won't let him live." Rukia pointed out softly. "As soon as they find out that we captured a full Arrancar alive, one of the Espada, they'll send the 12th Division in to run tests. It would be kinder to spare him that."

"We can't just let him leave either. He tried to kill Ichigo! I say we kill him and be done with it." Renji scoffed.

Rukia shot him a very pointed, very annoyed look.

"And you haven't tried to kill Ichigo before?"

The orange-haired shinigami tuned out their bickering as his thoughts turned to the problem at hand.

Grimmjow.

Sure, the Arrancar had tried to kill him more than once, but then so had most of his current friends. Ishida had almost destroyed Karakura with his stupid 'contest' while Renji had, more than once, beaten him and left him for dead. Kenpachi, though the crazy captain wasn't here, had nearly killed him the very first time they met, and seemed insistent to make some sort of attempt every time they saw each other. Byakuya, who wasn't really a friend, but who treated him like a tolerable acquaintance, had nearly killed Ichigo at least twice.

So had Urahara, come to think, with his ridiculous training to regain his shinigami powers.

Grimmjow had also saved his life. Ulquiorra's blow would have killed him, had he been left like that. Ichigo would have died if Grimmjow hadn't defied orders and brought Orihime to him. Without Grimmjow, the unofficial mission would have failed.

It was all just too confusing, even without the confusing dreams involving Grimmjow, too much skin, and a difficult problem when he woke up in the mornings. Those Ichigo could definitely deal without, especially if he was going to start seeing the teal-haired Arrancar on a regular basis, rather than whenever Grimmjow showed up so they could attempt to beat each other to a bloody, painful death.

Really, this wasn't helping Ichigo's stress level at all.

Confusing dreams aside, Ichigo believed Grimmjow deserved a second chance. Without second chances, he would have a much smaller circle of friends. Soul Society didn't really need to be informed, right...?

Ichigo thought carefully.

Maybe, if Grimmjow had some sort of information and didn't attack any of the shinigami or the humans, maybe Soul Society would turn a blind eye just this once...

Ichigo snorted.

Like that would happen. They had nearly executed a noble, one of Kuchiki blood, just because she had temporarily lent her powers to Ichigo in order for him to save his family.

No matter what Grimmjow knew, they'd use him in experiments and then slice him to ribbons when they were done.

" - but maybe Yamamoto-san will be nice and let Grimmjow-san work with us!" Orihime said brightly as Ichigo tuned back into the conversation.

Ichigo almost gave another derisive snort.

"No way. He's the _Sexy_ Freakin' Espada. The sixth most powerful Arrancar in Aizen's army. Soul Society won't just let him help us." Ichigo said. He glanced around the small room in irritation when no one replied, taking in the wide eyes and open mouths all around the table.

Well, Chad's eyes were barely visible and his jaw was practically wired shut and no one could see Urahara's mouth anyway, but the shock was still obvious.

"What?" Ichigo demanded. "If Yamamoto was willing to execute a noble like Rukia-"

"The ... 'Sexy... Freakin' Espada'?" Renji asked in disbelieving tones. Ichigo could just picture small quotation marks around the words. Rukia snickered, despite the fact that the atmosphere of their meeting had been serious.

"Why Ichigo, I never would have guessed..." she said lightly and Ichigo's face reddened. He would have said it was anger. The others would have said it was embarrassment. It didn't take a genius to figure out who was correct - and it wasn't Ichigo.

"I did NOT say that." he protested. "I said 'sexta'. It's not my fault if your ears aren't working."

"You said 'sexy', Ichigo." Yoruichi said cheerfully, a broad grin on her face. "I can't blame you, even if he is an Arrancar. It's not like he's shy about his body-"

"I do not think that bastard is sexy." Ichigo insisted stubbornly, reddening even more as his... ahem, _anger_, grew more intense. It really wasn't helping that a few of the more choice scenes from his dreams decided to play behind his eyes at that moment.

"You did say 'sexy', not 'sexta', Kurosaki-kun." Urahara said mischievously. "Denial isn't convincing anyone."

"You need your hearing checked." Ichigo grumped, knowing he was going to lose this fight. "Look, it just slipped out since the words sound similar. I wasn't even thinking about Grimmjow."

That sounded almost convincing. Maybe the others would buy it...

"And who were you thinking about, Kurosaki?" Ishida asked.

Damn. Trust the fucking Quincy to ask the hard questions.

"Uh... Matsumoto!" Ichigo invented. By the looks on his friends' faces, he could tell he hadn't convinced anyone.

Renji smirked.

"Really... 'cause I don't remember you ever being all that interested in her. In fact, I remember you kicking her out of her house after she tried seducing you so you'd let her stay at your place."

Ichigo groaned mentally. He had, after all, kicked the buxom Vice Captain out of his room way before Orihime had been kidnapped.

"You never stare at her when she runs, even though every straight man in a ten meter radius drops whatever he was doing in order to watch." Ishida added. Scowling, Ichigo looked away from the group.

"Can we just get back on topic? It was an accident, I didn't mean anything."

"Have you ever heard of a Freudian slip, Kurosaki-kun?" Urahara asked. Ichigo shook his head.

"It's when a person says something they mean, but would never actually say out loud." At Ichigo's blank look, Urahara elaborated. "Like when a girl means to tell her friend 'the new skirt is really flattering' but accidentally says 'the new skirt makes you look fatter'. The second is true, but the girl would never actually say such a thing."

"You're reading too much into it. It wasn't a freudy-whatever."

Rukia opened her mouth to comment, but Orihime beat her to it.

"Let's stop picking on poor Kurosaki-kun!" the orange-haired girl said, then turned to Ichigo with a slightly pained smile. "Grimmjow-kun's a nice person. I think it's cute!"

Ichigo buried his head in his hands and groaned and everyone else around the table laughed.

ii. the night

Ichigo scowled as he leaned against the wall.

The Urahara Shoten had closed for the night. Rukia and Renji would go back to Soul Society in the morning to plead Grimmjow's case - if worse came to worse, Grimmjow could always 'overpower' Ichigo or Chad and 'escape'. Soul Society had to be informed, though, since Grimmjow was one of the Espada and could have information important to the war.

Orihime had gone back home, as had Chad and Ishida. Urahara and Yoruichi had retired for the night. Ichigo had grabbed the short straw and had guard duty.

Sometimes, life really wasn't fair.

Especially since Grimmjow had already woken up and would not stop teasing him.

"C'mon, Ichi, you know you think I'm sexy..." Grimmjow drawled, a smirk on his face. The Arrancar was lying down on a futon Urahara had so thoughtfully provided, one big enough for two people.

Ichigo was certain Urahara had brought the double futon in just to irritate him, especially since the blond man had claimed there were no other futons and if Ichigo wanted to sleep at all he would need to share with Grimmjow.

A piece of thread was tied around Ichigo's left pinky. Grimmjow had one as well. Both were red in color. Ichigo was certain that was Rukia's influence, but again Urahara had claimed he had no more thread in his store and the pieces were only long enough to tie around their pinkies, not wrists. The thread had been imbued with kido so it couldn't be cut or removed except by the one who had tied it in the first place. The thread would also let whoever was on guard duty know if Grimmjow tried to leave, even if said guard was asleep. The only problem was that the guard needed to be in the same room for the thread to operate properly.

Ichigo had insisted the thread wasn't necessary, that he'd stay up all night to watch Grimmjow, but Urahara had immediately gone into theatrics on how Grimmjow would murder them all the moment Ichigo gave in to exhaustion and fell asleep. Yoruichi had commented afterwards how Ichigo just wanted to see the 'sexy Espada' asleep and vulnerable.

Ichigo had taken the thread to shut them up.

"Shut. Up." Ichigo growled, cursing his mouth for his earlier slip.

It wouldn't have been nearly so bad if Urahara hadn't seen fit to inform Grimmjow, of all people, about Ichigo's stupid mistake.

Flashback

"So I'm stuck here until the fucking shinigami decide whether or not I'm allowed to live?" Grimmjow asked, scowling darkly. He took a small sip of some concoction Urahara had made, some medical thing Ichigo couldn't remember the name of. "And one of you bastards is going to play babysitter?"

The Arrancar made a face at the taste of the medicine, but kept drinking it at a pointed look from Rukia.

There were nods all around the room. Chad had fetched Grimmjow from Urahara's basement as soon as the group had come to a decision.

"Ichigo's on guard duty tonight." Renji told him, smirk showing he was enjoying the orange-haired shinigami's predicament.

Grimmjow shot the scowling teen a deadpan look.

"Oh, joy."

"Same to you." Ichigo shot back.

"Now, now, Ichigo." Urahara said, small smirk tugging his lips. "Don't be like that. Just a few minutes ago you were all excited to be keeping an eye on the 'sexy Espada'."

Ichigo glared at the shopkeeper as Grimmjow choked on the medicine he had been unfortunate enough to take a drink of just a moment before.

"What did you just call me?" the teal-haired Arrancar demanded, once his coughing was under control. Urahara was unaffected by the other's glare.

"It's Kurosaki-kun's name for you." he informed Grimmjow cheerfully. "Why, he called you that just before Chad here brought you to this room."

Grimmjow glanced around the room and, after seeing everyone else nod seriously, looked at Ichigo.

A broad smirk stretched across the Arrancar's face.

"Really..." he drawled.

Ichigo scowled, even as he felt his face heat up.

End Flashback

Shortly thereafter, the others had said their 'good-byes' and 'goodnights'. Urahara had stuck around just long enough to tie the two threads and direct Ichigo to the room he now sat in.

"Are you sleepy yet, shinigami? You look tired and here's this nice big bed-"

"Didn't I just tell you to shut up?" Ichigo demanded. He was actually feeling tired, since he hadn't gotten a lot of sleep the past few nights. His dreams kept waking him up.

It didn't help that Urahara had taken away all of Grimmjow's clothes and given the Espada only a pair of drawstring pants to wear. Did not help at all. Especially since the pants were slung low enough on the Arrancar's hips that Ichigo could just barely tell the other man was a natural blue. Not that he was looking.

Ichigo snapped his eyes back to the wall.

Grimmjow snickered

"Like what you see?" he asked rhetorically. Ichigo pointedly ignored him, but the Arrancar didn't get the hint. "Hm. Going shy on me now, shinigami? I'm not the one who called you sexy in front of my friends-"

"Like you have any friends to begin with." Ichigo bit out, unable to help himself. "And for the last goddamn time, it was a mistake."

"Sure it was..." the Arrancar taunted. "Mistake to fantasize about me while in a roomful of shinigami-"

Ichigo could feel a vein throb in his temple, but refused to rise to the bait. Eventually, the teal-haired man would get tired of this, Ichigo just had to stop rising to the bait-

"-though I bet you do enough fantasizing when you're alone. Does fighting me turn you on, Ichi?"

Ichigo controlled his temper. Grimmjow would get bored soon enough; he just had to wait the bastard out-

"Betcha it does. Betcha you get all hot and bothered after a good fight. Especially when you're fighting me." Grimmjow's smirk said it all. "You know you want me."

"I want you to leave me alone, shut up, and go to sleep."

"So you can watch me sleep? Aw, Ichi, never knew you had it in you to be so romantic-"

"Shut up right now or I cut out your tongue." Ichigo snapped. There was a limit to his patience and his tolerance, and Grimmjow had passed it ages ago.

"You wouldn't be threatening my tongue if you knew what it could do." Grimmjow returned. "Though I'll bet you've imagined plenty-"

With a strangled cry, patience finally snapping, Ichigo leapt at the smirking Arrancar. He fully intended to make good on his threat, or at the very least do some damage so the blue-haired bastard would finally shut up, but Grimmjow had apparently expected the tackle.

The Arrancar rolled them smoothly over the moment Ichigo landed, grabbing Ichigo's wrists and pinning them above the shinigami's head. Grimmjow's legs straddled the teen's waist, very effectively pinning the orange-haired shinigami down.

Ichigo glared and struggled against Grimmjow's hold, wiggling and bucking his hips to try and move the Arrancar off of him.

"Let me go, bastard." Ichigo demanded as his struggles proved fruitless. Grimmjow chuckled deep in his throat.

"I don't think I will. This position has all sorts of interesting possibilities."

"What the hell do you mean, you- mmphf!"

Ichigo's question was suddenly cut off by a pair of surprisingly soft pink lips. The shinigami's struggles abruptly ceased and his jaw went slack, much to Grimmjow's delight.

The teen only began to struggle again when something wet and foreign entered his mouth and touched his tongue playfully. He shook his head quickly before turning his head to the side so Grimmjow was presented with his cheek instead of his mouth as a target.

"What do you think you were doing, asshole?!" he demanded, heart pounding, as soon as he was sure his lips were safe. Grimmjow nipped lightly at Ichigo's ear, causing a shiver of what Ichigo would have said was revulsion through the teen's body.

Grimmjow would have said it was a shiver of desire, need, want. Again, it wasn't Ichigo who was right.

"Kissing you." the Sexta Espada replied easily. Ichigo tried to glare and failed miserably. It didn't help that he only had one eye to glare with, as he was certainly not about to turn his head to face the teal-haired idiot.

Grimmjow would probably kiss him again. Which was a bad thing. A very Bad Thing, he reminded himself. Grimmjow was an Arrancar, an enemy - or at least a former enemy.

Which is why kissing him would be a Very Bad Thing.

"C'mon, Ichi..." Grimmjow moved to kiss him again. Intent on avoiding the former Espada, Ichigo turned his head as far as he could away from the other man's seeking lips.

At the other's throaty chuckle, Ichigo began to suspect just how bad his position was.

The sensation of lips on his neck only confirmed his suspicions. He tried to twist his head back to protect his neck, but Grimmjow's head was very much in his way and the Arrancar wasn't moving away.

Grimmjow's lips trailed down Ichigo's neck, alternating kisses with nips. Ichigo bit his lip, not trusting himself to speak.

Opening his mouth now would probably not produce sounds telling the Espada to stop, and the last thing Ichigo wanted to do was encourage the bastard. There was a very good reason for that, he was sure, even if he couldn't remember it at the moment.

Ichigo got himself under some semblance of control and was on the verge of telling the former Espada to stop and get off him when Grimmjow finally reached the sensitive bit of flesh that joined his neck and shoulder. Instead of the angry reprimand he had planned on, a low moan escaped his mouth as Grimmjow attacked the skin. He could feel the Arrancar's triumphant smirk against his skin and he clamped his mouth shut.

None of this was helping the 'problem' that had started developing the moment the teal-haired man pinned him.

"Don't hold it in now..." Grimmjow murmured, voice husky. Ichigo's face reddened as the other man moved back to the shinigami's face, kissing along his cheek to his mouth. The teen kept his face firmly turned away, determined not to give in.

The former Espada, not the most patient of people to begin with, had apparently gotten tired of teasing. He ground down hard on Ichigo's groin, pulling another moan from the teen.

"You... bastard..." Ichigo gasped, breaking his 'no-talking' rule. Grimmjow's smirk only grew.

"But I'm a sexy bastard, aren't I?"

Grimmjow's words were punctuated with another harsh grind. Ichigo gasped.

He could feel one of the former Espada's hands run down his chest, pushing aside his gi. The man's mouth soon followed, nipping and licking Ichigo's nipples while his hand explored.

The shinigami groaned quietly, rolling his hips unconsciously so his groin brushed the ex-Espada's.

The Arrancar's second hand joined the first, yanking the gi from Ichigo's hakama. Cool air brushed past Ichigo's skin, making him shiver before Grimmjow moved back to cover the teen's lips with his own. The shinigami returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around the Arrancar's neck before his senses kicked back in.

With a cry - muffled by the other man's lips - Ichigo drew back and shoved the former Espada away. Grimmjow, taken aback, fell backwards and landed with a muffled curse on his ass.

Immediately, Ichigo followed, straddling the other man's hips and pinning the Arrancar to the floor. Grimmjow hissed as his head collided with the wood.

Ichigo seized the Arrancar's neck, lifting the other up and drawing his hand back, forming a fist.

They stayed like that for several seconds. Brown stared into blue, blue returning the glare with confidence.

Ichigo let go. He stood, moving pointedly away from the ex-Espada as he fixed his uniform.

Without looking at the blue-haired man, he spoke.

"Just go to sleep."

"Aw, Ichi, can't take a bit of teasing?" Grimmjow asked. The shinigami didn't even have warning before a set of strong arms wrapped around him from behind, pinning his arms to his side. "You always this sensitive?" Grimmjow's lips brushed the shell of his ear, words husky and low.

Ichigo struggled against the hold, ignoring the double entendre. Grimmjow continued speaking, as though he didn't notice Ichigo's attempts to free himself.

"C'mon Ichi, what's wrong with giving in just once?" One of the ex-Espada's hands dropped down to rest low on Ichigo's abs as the Hollow ground slowly and lightly against his prey.

Ichigo tensed.

"You're my _enemy_, Grimmjow." Ichigo stated. If he was a bit breathless, neither noticed.

"So?" the teal-haired man asked. "I'm not so much your enemy anymore, in case you hadn't realized. Try again."

"We'll always be enemies." Ichigo hissed, shutting his eyes and trying to block out all physical sensation. "You're a Hollow. I'm a shinigami. Shinigami kill Hollows."

"You saying you're going to kill me?" Grimmjow chuckled.

"If you don't let me go right now I might." Ichigo growled. He tried to ignore the sensation of Grimmjow rubbing up against him, but couldn't block it out completely. "Damnit! Let go!"

He twisted in the hold to glare at the ex-Espada, but stopped short when he saw the unusually serious expression the other wore.

"You want this." Grimmjow said seriously, his hand dropping lower to cup Ichigo through his hakama. The shinigami looked away, a choked gasp escaping his lips at the contact. "Why deny it?"

"I'm not a fucking plaything." Ichigo said heatedly. "I'm not going to be some shinigami fucktoy you can use and then forget about. I don't-"

"Somebody's got a mouth on him." Grimmjow commented mildly. He moved his hand, stroking Ichigo through his shinigami uniform. The teen gasped quietly, resisting the urge to thrust into the other man's grip. "Give in already, Ichi."

"Didn't you hear what I just said, asshole?" Ichigo demanded, voice breathy. Grimmjow lightly nipped the top of Ichigo's ear.

"Is that all you're hung up about?"

"You- you bastard-"

"Who says I'm planning on forgetting?"

Time slowed to a crawl. Ichigo could feel his eyes widen.

"Wha- what did you just-?"

"Hollows go after whatever they want. Arrancar aren't so different, 'cept we plan better." Grimmjow lowered his mouth to nip Ichigo's neck, kissing the spot afterwards. "We're better at waiting for an opportunity before striking. That's what makes us different from normal Hollows, makes us stronger."

Ichigo shuddered under the other's mouth as it began to trail down his neck.

"But... I thought-" Ichigo gasped as Grimmjow's hand increased pace between his thighs.

"You were always trying to... kill me."

"Fucking and fighting aren't that different when you're a Hollow. You've got a dead sexy glare, shinigami, especially when you're all defensive and bloody, coat ripped to shreds..."

"Grimmjow..." Ichigo moaned, finally losing the battle with his self-control - or maybe just giving in at last - and letting his hips follow the movement of the other's hand.

"Say my name again, Ichi."

"Grimm-" Ichigo's voice cut off in a choked gasp as teeth clamped down on the skin between his neck and shoulder. Vaguely, he realized that the ex-Espada must have started undressing him again.

This time, though, he didn't mind so much.

A tongue soothed the bite mark, licking and kissing it.

"That's it, shinigami."

"I'm not just - This isn't-" Ichigo tried, to say, gasps interrupting his words. He took a deep breath, trying to get himself under control for just a few minutes more. "This isn't just a one-time thing? I'm not just a handy hole to fuck?"

"You're such a woman, Kurosaki." Grimmjow muttered, but didn't move away. "No and no, does that satisfy you?"

Ichigo was about to respond hotly to the 'woman' comment, but just then Grimmjow grabbed his jaw and turned his head. Lips met with bruising force. Mouths opened and tongues began fighting for dominance, neither caring who won. The shinigami turned completely around in Grimmjow's hold, desperate to be able to touch.

Ichigo shrugged his shoulders out of his top, then reached up and tangled his fingers in Grimmjow's hair, yanking the Arrancar closer. The teal-haired man's hands were busy, yanking the top so it would come untucked and letting it fall to the floor before grabbing Ichigo's hips and grinding hard against him.

Ichigo moaned loudly, breaking the kiss.

"Giving in, shinigami?" Grimmjow asked breathlessly, smirking wickedly. Ichigo glared, knowing the ex-Espada already knew the answer.

"Shut up and kiss me."

Grimmjow laughed, hands sliding along Ichigo's hips to the teen's obi. He yanked the belt, feeling the material loosen as he leaned forward for another kiss.

iii. the morning after

Ichigo's eyes slowly opened. He blinked.

This wasn't his room.

Memories of the previous day began to come back.

He had been at the Urahara Shoten; he had been assigned to watch Grimmjow, the eternal pain in his ass...

Ichigo began to sit up, then hissed and quickly lay back down.

For once, 'pain in the ass' wasn't figurative. His entire lower back hurt, from shoulder blades down to upper thigh. It wasn't as if he was unused to waking up in the morning aching, but he had never ached before in the places he ached now. Muscle aches from fighting Hollows all night were very different from aches gained by fucking a Hollow all night.

The sound of cloth rustling next to him drew his attention to the cause of said aches.

Grimmjow looked... well, not exactly innocent, sleeping with his hair ungelled and face relaxed from his normal smirk. The Arrancar had an arm slung over Ichigo's hips, possessive even when asleep.

Ichigo let a small smile cross his face, aches forgotten for a moment.

He lifted a hand to reach for the Arrancar's face, leaning forward to kiss the teal-haired man awake, when suddenly the door behind him slid open.

"Kurosaki-kun! Breakfast is ready!" Urahara called out, then added a quiet 'Oh' a moment later. Heavier footsteps approached.

"What's the hold up-" Renji's voice complained, then suddenly cut out. The redhead must have reached the door. With a muffled groan, Ichigo closed his eyes and buried his face in the closest available object - Grimmjow's chest.

Soft footsteps sounded from the hall.

"What are you all-" Rukia was next. "-staring... at..."

"Way to go Ichigo!" Yoruichi cheered. Ichigo hadn't heard her approach, but he doubted anyone could hear her walk if she didn't want them to.

"Damn, looks like Ishida won the bet." Renji groused.

Ichigo's face heated and he was about to sit up and demand why his 'friends' were betting on whether or not he'd get laid when Grimmjow began to stir. The Arrancar shifted under Ichigo's cheek and pulled him closer, other hand lazily coming up to turn the shinigami's face towards him. Apparently not noticing their audience, Grimmjow kissed him.

It wasn't even a nice, chaste, 'good morning, how are you?' kind of kiss. It was a full-out, tongues tangling, 'I want in your pants NOW' kind of kiss, the type Grimmjow was especially good at - also, coincidentally, the only kind the former Espada knew.

Momentarily forgetting himself under that skillful tongue, Ichigo kissed back with just as much fervor until a low whistle brought him to his senses and alerted the Arrancar that they were being observed.

"The hell do you want?" Grimmjow asked the group at the door. "Breakfast already?"

"Yup." Yoruichi's smile was at least a mile wide.

"Out of idle, harmless curiosity..." Urahara started, smiling innocently. Ichigo had a very bad feeling about what was going to come out of the shopkeeper's mouth. "... who topped?"

Ichigo groaned.

Warning bells began to go off inside his head. While he wouldn't tell, he could feel the smugness radiating from the Arrancar behind him. Grimmjow would have no difficulties in revealing that bit of information.

"Obviously it was-"

Ichigo elbowed him sharply, causing the ex-Espada to break off mid-sentence with a curse.

Pity Rukia was more observant than he gave her credit for.

"So Grimmjow topped?"

"I believe that's another bet Ishida-san won." Urahara stated cheerfully. The blond man turned back to the now beet-red Ichigo and continued. "When you and your lover get dressed, breakfast will be on the table."

"Or lunch!" Rukia added helpfully, snickering.

"Probably lunch." Renji said as the two shinigami turned away from the room and headed back down the hall to the dining area.

"Don't be too loud - I don't want to have to explain to Jinta and Ururu the 'birds and the bees' until they're older!" Urahara called out as he turned and left.

Yoruichi just laughed and shut the door.

As the footsteps faded, the color faded from Ichigo's cheeks, leaving his skin tone one again normal.

"Well, that was embarrassing." Ichigo muttered. Grimmjow just smirked.

Catching sight of the expression, Ichigo narrowed his eyes.

"What do you want?" he asked. Grimmjow moved closer to the shinigami.

"Breakfast is ready, but your friends don't seem to expect us until lunch." the Arrancar purred. "We have a few hours..."

Seeing where the ex-Espada was headed with that reasoning, Ichigo tried to head him off.

"No way, my ass hurts enough from last night. There's no way-"

Ichigo was cut off by Grimmjow's lips. When they finally broke for air, Ichigo completely forgot what he had been saying.

"C'mon, shinigami, you know you want to-"

This time, Grimmjow was cut off by Ichigo's lips.

They did not emerge from the bedroom until lunch.

iv. the epilogue

Ishida had made a tidy sum of money off the bets, some of which he used to take Orihime on a date.

Rukia and Renji pleaded Grimmjow's case to Soul Society, leaving out the fact that Grimmjow was sleeping with Soul Society's substitute shinigami. Grimmjow was allowed to live, much to everyone's surprise and delight. (Rukia was never happier that she had been camera-happy a few weeks ago and taken a lot of pictures when Renji was visiting the Kuchiki estate. Brief promises that Ichigo would fight Kenpachi if the 11th Division captain helped them out hadn't been amiss either, though Rukia never did figure out how Renji got Ukitake, Kyoraku, Kurotsuchi, Soi Fon, and Komamura to vote in favor of pardoning Grimmjow. Unohana had also voted in favor of pardoning Grimmjow, though neither Rukia nor Renji could figure out why.)

Urahara and Yoruichi, both seeing a possible new means of income for the store, began stalking Ichigo and Grimmjow (and Renji and Byakuya, when those two came out of the closet) for the Shoten's new yaoi section.

Ichigo and Grimmjow did get Urahara to remove the kido-imbued thread, even though Rukia insisted it was the 'red string of fate' that had brought them together. The substitute shinigami and the former Espada ended up moving in together after a year. To this day Ichigo maintains he said 'Sexta Espada' and not 'Sexy Espada', though they all know otherwise.

End

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